


The Gay Shit Seijoh Endures To Make Oikawa Tooru Happy

by keicros_caramel



Series: The Gay Shit Seijoh Endures To Make Oikawa Tooru Happy [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Aobajousai, Attempt at Humor, Chaos, Chaotic Seijoh, Coming Out, Everyone Is Gay, Fukurodani - Freeform, Horny Teenagers, House Party, Implied Sexual Content, Johzenji, M/M, Minor Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Nekoma, Roommates, Shiratorizawa, Short One Shot, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:13:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25141453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keicros_caramel/pseuds/keicros_caramel
Summary: Just another day in the Aobajohsai boarding house, right? Here’s to the gay shit Seijoh endures to keep Oikawa Tooru happy.Featuring tired Yahaba Shigeru, house parties with Nekoma and Fukurodani trespassing, and moments with the resident drama queen himself, Oikawa Tooru.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Kindaichi Yuutarou/Kunimi Akira
Series: The Gay Shit Seijoh Endures To Make Oikawa Tooru Happy [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1822702
Comments: 5
Kudos: 96





	1. What Do You Think Of Oikawa Tooru?

Yahaba cannot remember the amount of times he rolled his eyes just from the past ten minutes. Seated across from him on the couch was their resident mean boy, Oikawa Tooru, who did nothing but whine on the phone all afternoon. 

If he were to be frank, the guy is without a doubt a decent person. They had been living together in the Seijoh department boarding house the moment he entered college. He's smart and he does his job of being the face of Seijoh house. He may not be as “responsible” looking as Karasuno’s Sawamura, but he does the job of keeping everyone on check. 

However, he’s annoying as fuck...sometimes.

Yahaba once conducted an informal survey around campus with his other housemates, asking what everyone thought of Oikawa. The answers he got were more than interesting to say the least. He still had some of the recordings on his phone. 

Interview #3: Nekoma House   
━━━━◉───────  
◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹

“ _Oh, Tooru? He thinks he's the greatest thing since milk bread._ ”

“ _Oh, him! I heard they have great alcohol in Aobajohsai!_ ” A sigh can be heard on the background. 

“ _Bokuto-san, they’re talking to Kuroo-san. Please wait for your turn._ ” 

“ _Eh? Akaashi, I want an interview too!_ ”—

Interview #6? #7? I honestly dk rn   
━━━━◉───────  
◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹

“ _He was incredibly smart as a leader, but indefinitely cruel as a mentor._ ” 

“ _Please continue,_ ” Kunimi’s tired voice followed. Yahaba remembered dragging him around campus when he caught the latter trying to walk home.

“ _Yeah, he told me if I can grab a bird and show it to him at the bridge—you know, behind there,_ ” the person growls at the memory, “ _he would let me in to their house for a tour._ ” 

“ _I think I heard this one,_ ” Hanamaki snickers. The person continues. 

“ _When I showed him a pigeon I got, he pushed me down the stream._ ” A chorus of laughter from the interviewers emerges.

“ _What a damn surprise, said no one ever,_ ” Hanamaki laughs. 

“ _Probably because you’re too stupid to actually fall for it, Kageyama._ ” 

Interview #? who is keeping track omfg   
━━━━━━◉─────  
◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹

" _Hmm, I can't think of anything...maybe,_ " the interviewee paused, " _Mr. Flat ass?_ " 

" _Damn, Terushima!_ " 

“ _Is there anything you want to say to Oikawa Tooru?_ ” Watari asks. The interviewees cheers and pushes one of the members up front. 

“ _Oikawa, you're pretty,_ " he started, " _but twice as annoying. If a strange man offers you candies and a ride, I say you take it!_ ” 

The Johzenji brotherhood screams in a supposed roast. Yahaba, Kunimi and Hanamaki swore never to go to that side of the campus ever again. 

The bottom line is that, Oikawa Tooru is equal parts admired and equal parts hated. The opinion is most definitely shared not just in the house. He was like that one president everyone salutes to but doesn’t want to live on the country. However, it was way too subjective. To those that looked up to him mostly just admires they way he throws house parties, and to those who hate him only did because Oikawa probably stole their lovers at one of the said parties.

It was such a shame Oikawa along with the other kids in the graduating class will get their degrees soon. 

A part of him still somehow wished that Oikawa would fail his papers due so he would stay for one more year. He has his own ways of motivating everyone to studies and whatever they do. The least they could do is to not disappoint him. 

"No, get the pink one!" Oikawa insisted via the phone, his legs swinging off the seat's arms and he filed his nails. "Iwa-chan, please~? I've always wanted the pink one." 

Yahaba sighs, trying to ignore thinking about whatever Oikawa insists Iwaizumi gets in pink. Just another day in the boarding house, right? Here’s to the gay shit Seijoh endures to keep Oikawa Tooru happy. 


	2. The Kids Need Holy Water

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: I wrote this twice. The pacing never really felt right but this version’s the decent one.

Way back three years ago, Iwaizumi and Oikawa went to university to pursue their engineering and chemistry degrees, respectively. They opted for a boarding house rather than the dorm options available, as it was definitely cheaper and they would still have annoying roommates either way. However, it was with their hardwork that the boarding house is as notorious as it is now. With paid internships and part times, they scored the house and made it their castle.

The house spans the entire second floor of Building A2 at Miyagi St. five minutes away from campus, with the first floor mostly a huge garage for their nonexistent cars. The "house" was initially just one huge floor space with five rooms, much like a warehouse. However, the founders turned the open space underneath to the party central it is now. The flat space of their roof is also turned into a functioning and clean rooftop, proving a third-storey view of a very uninteresting brick house skyline. 

The fact that they chose a spot between similar warehouse-like buildings that the parties can even be possible. Not long, it attracted freshmen including himself with the nice location and high but definitely worth it fees. The parties Oikawa manages is the biggest bonus of it allーliving in the Seijoh boarding house is a free ticket to making new friends and gaining student body respect. 

Little did they know, the real price is what they had to deal with. In exchange for a 2-person average-sized room, a technical membership to a brotherhood and the close proximity to the campus, the housemates had to deal with a drama queen, a stressed bodyguard, and two sneaky bastards who can and will make you face your first-but-definitely-not-last near death experience. 

Yahaba will eternally curse Mattsun and Makki for that. Even to this day, he will smell the licorice-like stench of 74% absinthe and remember the day he almost faced Venerable Matt Talbot, the patron saint of alcoholics, up in the skies above. 

Speaking of their parties, the second time it was held, it was just for their street neighbors, much like a welcome party for themselves. It was just supposed to be a small gathering with music and snacks, though it blew up all over campus. Karasuno, Date Tech, Wakutani and Johzenji arrived with their invitations, yes. However, halfway past the night, Yahaba saw with his own eyes the Nekoma, Fukurodani, Inarizaki and Nohebi house members scattered on the sea of people drinking their beer and eating their chips. If he was right, those brotherhoods were located at the literal other side of the university. They don't even share a college together. 

"Hey, those social science majors are drinking Mattsun's beer stash.” He remembered feeling relief when he saw Iwaizumi and Oikawa among the crowd. The two were already tipsy, dancing alongside the Johzenji first years. 

“Aw, don’t be mean, Yahaba-chan! It’s not their fault they’re born that way.” Oikawa downed his beer in one go and threw his arms over Iwaizumi. 

Watari then appeared nearby, their new housemate Kyoutani slumped over his shoulder passed out. “Oikawa, Iwaizumi,” he called, “You can’t believe who I saw.” 

“What, Fukurodani? I know, I know. As long as it’s not damn Shiratorizawa,” he replied. Watari proceeds to dump Kyoutani on the couch. 

“I saw Tendou playing uno with the Karasuno third years.” 

Oikawa freezes before rolling his eyes, shoving his unopened beer to Yahaba’s chest and climbing the DIY stage platform of wooden pallets. Yahaba watches as he grabbed the mic from Terushima, interrupting his Nicki Minaj rap verse. 

“Pull up in the monster, automobile gangst—Hey!” 

“Hey, listen up! You, yes you!” he screams onto the mic, pointing to his actual monster in the crowd, “Get the fuck ou—kkh!“ 

They all winced at the sight. Iwaizumi moves up the stage as Oikawa hunches over and throws up on Terushima, all before he could talk about kicking the Shiratorizawa kids out. Now that Yahaba looked back on it, maybe that’s why Johzenji had a small grudge on him, especially Terushima. 

_That was a fun night_ , he might say. 

However, it was just the beginning of the madness they got themselves into. It wasn’t even cut close to the gay shit they endure to make Oikawa happy. When he came out formally, they were watching Netflix via Iwaizumi’s laptop, using a projector and a blank wall.

“Whoever gets to the couch last is gay!” 

Up for the challenge, they all launched themselves onto the four-seater couch. Watari took the space on the arm rest, leaving Oikawa standing. He pouted before grabbing a throw pillow and hugging it. 

“You’re all so mean!” he said, “Yeah, okay, I’m gay.” 

As Iwaizumi handed the laptop over to Mattsun, they all waited for the “Sike!” that comes...except it didn’t. They watched as he took the space on the floor next to his childhood bestfriend’s legs, silent. Iwaizumi then patted him on the back whilst they pick a show. They all gave him one last glance before Mattsun played RPDR and the show started. 

“Ah, you’re not kidding,” Hanamaki grabbed the popcorn and sprinkled the flavor packet over. 

“About time, too.” Mattsun commented, also smirking. Watari and Yahaba nodded in agreement. 

“You’re not surprised?” he asked, genuinely impressed. Iwaizumi casually hits him with his pillow. 

“We all kind of saw it coming,” Yahaba added, gaining the other guys’ nods. “Thanks for trusting us, I guess.” 

“Ahhh, you’re making me bl-“ 

“With that said, shut the fuck up and watch the show,” Iwaizumi said, the room falling to his authoritative tone. The outer corners of his lips push up onto a small smile before he mumbles and meets his bestfriend’s eyes. “You can blabber all about it tomorrow all you want. Even if they start to hate, I can fight.” 

“ _Iwa-chan!_ ” Nobody missed the voice crack and the pooling tears at the corner of his eyes. It was stopped when he was hit by a pillow again. They all shared a hearty laughter and the night went through smoothly without further noise. It was the calm before the storm. 

They all knew Oikawa wasn’t exactly the definition of subtle, though he wasn’t exactly the evident kind either. While giving a house tour to their two new housemates, Kindaichi and Kunimi, he decided to also include his and Iwaizumi’s room. It was an unspoken rule of dorms where rooms exists for the sake of privacy. It’s common sense really, and so they tagged along to at least get a little peek before Oikawa (or most importantly, the day-class Iwaizumi) changed his mind. 

And there it was: Oikawa’s vanity. Littered in front of the giant mirror were two acrylic organizers of makeup tubes and bottles. Most of it looked flesh-toned—ah, concealers. 

“You wear makeup?” Kindaichi asked before he realized. 

Oikawa seemed to catch on at the surprise and smiled. “What about it?” 

Much to everyone else’s relief, Kindaichi brushed the topic off and continued for the tour. However, everyone else noticed something off—Oikawa’s bed looked untouched. That was the first two dots connecting. 

Back to their new housemates, the two got the room between MattsuMakki’s and KyouHaba’s. Knowing the nature of those two pairs of room neighbors, it wasn’t a surprise the two chose somewhere else to make out. 

𝘯𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘯𝘦

There was a time Oikawa, Mattsun and Makki finally caught Kindaichi and Kunimi making out in the first floor storage closet. Technically, it was a garage closet, though it was only filled with their party supplies because of the obvious lack of vehicles. The two were still dressed, though if they didn't happen to barge in, they would be shirtless in less than a minute. The look on their faces immediately sold out the fact that they thought they would be evicted, strolling in the Sahara thinking they're a sentient cactus needle. 

Oikawa stepped in and even Mattsun and Makki found his silence terrifying. It was true that Iwaizumi and Oikawa co-owns the boarding house under their name, but hell knows they agree on the same things. If Oikawa wanted them out, Iwaizumi will be there to help throw luggages out the gate. 

Not that those two will actually do it, _will they?_

Oikawa narrowed his eyes on the two freshmen before taking a sharp inhale. 

“Do you two have _class_?” 

“Class?” 

“Ah, I mean like lectures to attend,” Oikawa corrected himself, though it did almost nothing to quell the uneasiness present in the room. He is a great kind leader, but a terrifying one to disappoint. 

Kunimi slowly looks up and meets his eyes. “I have one around 2:30.” 

They all craned their heads to the two other guys at the door. Makki blinks and glances at his watch. “1:13.” 

There is a word that could describe the feeling in their guts as they stood frozen in front of their leader—discomfort. They didn’t like it one bit. 

Oikawa takes another sharp inhale, glancing at the two with an unreadable expression. “You. Both of you. Upstairs. _Now_.” 

Even Mattsun and Makki followed all the way where Oikawa led the two. Not even Mattsun’s juice box slurping noises can get over the sound of their own hearts thumping in their chests. Oikawa opened the door to his and Iwaizumi’s room and held it open for the others. He closed the door gently before stretching his arms over his head. The four stood, waiting. 

“Why a closet?” Oikawa asked, opening the door to the connected bathroom. The sound of the sink turning on was loud against the eerily silent room. He returned back, wiping his hands on a towel and seeing the four still frozen. Dodging the attention, Mattsun and Makki went to take the beanbag and the deskchair. Kindaichi and Kunimi remained standing like children being scolded for destroying a $450 refridgerator door. 

“You aren’t answering?” he hummed, walking closer. 

The two looked at each other before ultimately bowing their heads in shame and apology, catching the senior offguard.

“We’re so sorry!” 

As if that moment won’t get any worse, the sound of the gate opening reached their ears. In a few seconds, Iwaizumi opens the door to their bedroom ready to rest before freezing. 

“What the _actual_ fuck,” he said, “are you all doing inside my room?” 

Kindaichi and Kunimi went even paler. Mattsun and Makki shrugs, leaving the answering to the resident drama queen. 

“Hey, Iwa-chan, how’s class?” he asked as if nothing happened. 

“Good. Now, explain.” Iwaizumi gestures to the two freshmen standing awfully still like statues. Oikawa looked at the two and smiles, throwing an arm over Kunimi who caught his breath on his throat. 

“We caught them in the closet!” 

Iwaizumi glanced at the two, who both started to mumble silent prayers under their breaths. That’s it, that’s how they ended up abducted by aliens. That’s how they’ll end up as a cactus needle. Goodbye, earth. 

“Huh,” Iwaizumi stated, shrugging as he took his coat off, “That makes the fifth and sixth gay person in this house.” 

“...” 

The five glanced at him in surprise and realization, especially the two freshmen in question. Makki started to count on his fingers. 

“Wait, hold up,” Makki exclaimed, sharing eye contact with Mattsun, who lowered his juicebox in realization.

“Oh my god.” 

“What?” Iwaizumi asked, raising a brow. Even the two freshman stood speechless, not knowing how to react. Oikawa was the first to speak. 

“No, I mean, we literally caught them in the garage making out,” Oikawa explained, completely missing the point. 

Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. “As if that makes a difference to what I said, Shittykawa! What kind of common sense filter do you have?” 

“You’re so mean!” Oikawa scoffed, letting go of Kunimi. His arms snaked back to the poor freshman before he could go, leading him to sit down in front of his own reflection in Oikawa’s vanity. 

“W-what...” 

Behind them, Iwaizumi gestured Mattsun and Makki to leave, saying something about the room getting crowded. Mattsun patted Kindaichi as they made their way to the door, silently congratulating him on their first near death experience. Kindaichi raised a brow, looking at Oikawa. 

“What is going on?” 

Oikawa looked up at him as he compared two tubes of makeup. Kindaichi still looked terrified and unsure, and Kunimi sat more confused than ever. It finally clicked in. 

“Ah, did you think we were kicking you out?” he said before laughing. “Haha! If making out in closets is prohibited, nobody will live in this house like ever.” 

Kindaichi and Kunimi met eye contact. That was the second and third dot connecting in their heads. 

Oikawa finally picked a tube and tested it at the back of his hand. He winked at the freshman who sat at his vanity stool. 

“I’ll teach you how to hide hickeys, Kunimi.” 

“Eh?” 

Behind them, Iwaizumi threw Kindaichi a small scarf. Needless to say, it started to make sense. As Oikawa started dabbing concealer in the red marks Kindaichi left on the shorter guy’s neck, he can’t help but commend the guy for being bold. 

“How long were you two in there? Your neck is so bruised.” He smirked, catching Kindaichi’s glance from the mirror. “Or maybe these hickeys weren’t from today but even before?” 

The reddish tint that took over the pair’s faces confirmed his guess. He shrugged, focusing on Kunimi’s neck. 

“I’m not against it. You can’t attend class like this, you know?” he said, “Not in a way you think. Rumors go around.” 

Kunimi sighs, trying his best to speak as his head craned to one direction. “Yeah, I know.” 

“Mhm,” Oikawa said, “You dab it like this and it should get rid of the streakiness.” 

Meanwhile, Iwaizumi gestured for Kindaichi to take the desk chair, which he did. They finally let out a breath they didn’t know they were holding. Oikawa finished covering up the entire right side and smiled at his work, chuckling. 

“God, your faces were so priceless though! Iwa-chan, if only you were there!” he exclaimed, “I wish I snapped a photo—Hey!” 

“Stop teasing the freshmen so hard, Trashykawa!” 

“Stop throwing things at me then! Hmph!” 

Iwaizumi sure likes throwing pillows, making sure it lives up to its name. Oikawa looks at him and pouted, his back facing the mirror. As Kunimi leaned close to the mirror to check the concealer’s coverage, that’s when he saw it. 

A bite mark at Oikawa’s nape. 

That was the final dot connecting their assumptions together—Iwaizumi and Oikawa was.... 

He met Kindaichi’s eyes and they nodded to each other in understanding. That was the moment everyone else named as “the second they realized what a shit storm they were in for.” It was a classic facial expression only Seijoh housemates can pull off. 

Oikawa went back to Kunimi’s other side, making sure the makeup looked seamless. 

“I kept wondering why you hate attention, Kunimi. You're interesting, you know? I can hear the words you say sometimes,” he said, “You throw shade so harsh we can use it for contour.”

Kindaichi smiles, putting on the scarf his upperclassman Iwaizumi lent him. “That’s Akira for you.” 

“Nah, not for me. For you.” Oikawa smirks, winking at him. The said boy awkwardly sat between the two, face flushed. If there’s anything Kindaichi is bad at, it was keeping his mouth away from things it shouldn’t say or do. 

As if on cue, Kindaichi took the desk chair and looked at them, waiting for his boyfriend to finish. “Why do you even have makeup? Isn't that for girls?” 

Iwaizumi, Oikawa and Kunimi all looked at him. The formers in inquiry and the latter in warning. 

“Are you-“ 

“Kindaichi, for the love of heaven and hell...” Kunimi glared. Oikawa smiles at this boldness. 

“Wow, you curse? I didn’t expect that!” 

“No! I didn't mean--“ Kindaichi stopped himself, taking in Kunimi’s glare and processed his words carefully. “What I mean is, isn't makeup like false advertising?” 

Kunimi gave up and focused his eyes on his own reflection. Kindaichi will say what he wanted to say anyway. Seeing himself in a bare neck after weeks was something brand new and unfamiliar, a sight he should relish on once in a while. He should ask Oikawa where he got those concealers from. 

“I know it makes people prettier but that's still deception,” Kindaichi said. 

Iwaizumi mumbled something about eating before leaving the room. 

Oikawa scanned his own face at the mirror while he asked, “False advertising, huh?” He smiles at his own reflection before flicking his nonexistent weave. 

“What do you mean false advertising? _One_ , I'm not advertising myself because _Two_ , I'm not a product,” he said, tapping Kunimi and taking his seat instead. Kunimi stood abruptly and the two watched. “And _three_ , even if I was, I'm expensive and you couldn't afford me.” 

“Wow, big words for the resident trashcan. You're giving me a headache, Shittykawa, shut up,” Iwaizumi’s voice boomed from the house kitchen. Mattsun and Makki’s laughter can he heard joining in the echo.

“Iwa-chan so mean! I think I'm worth every headache I give, thank you very much!” he shouted back, grabbing a lip balm and swiping it over his lips. 

That was the first time Kunimi Akira served as Oikawa Tooru’s makeup practice model. The second time, it was poor Yahaba. Then next, it was Hanamaki. The three endured it all for the sake of making their dramatic queen bee content. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should I write a continuation? I swear I had an idea what all this is going to lead to.


End file.
